What Now??? Brick Walls and Family Secrets

 I am going through my fall yuk spell.Spring and fall pollen makes for a very unhappy me.I get sick both times of the year.So be patient with me some days will not feel good enough to get online to write.

Ok you have decided to look into the past. What on earth do you do? How do you get started?
1.Talk to every living relative you have over 50.
2.Sit in a quiet place write down everything you remember your elders saying.
3.Try to join Genealogy groups online.
4.Do not let brick walls stop you "yes it is ok to leave it along for awhile when you get frustrated"
That is all I had to go on or knew what to do when I first started out.With the exception of all this great internet access.Your biggest brick wall will be family not wanting to have anything to do with family history. One of my biggest problems was that I lost a lot of my notes.Talk about having heart failure. I also had a problem a lot of my relatives either said they did not remember or just did not want to talk about the past. That is when I learned to ask just a question or two. Like what was your fathers name? How many kids did Grandma have? I found out that you will get a lot more information by asking just a few questions at a time. Slow progress is better than none.Just hang in there.Sadly so many of my relatives are dead now.What they knew went to the grave with them.

Family Secrets was and still is my biggest hindrance. Let me tell you the older generation knows how to keep their mouths shut.My father Archie always hinted at thing but never came right out and said the whole story. I got hints that my Grand father (William Ellis Skelton born 5dec1878 AL.died 9dec1980 TX.) was religious but was never told he was a preacher.That his wife's name was Dicy (Dicy Dorthula Walker born 26jan1886 KS died 10oct1959 TX) It took me years to find out my Grandmothers maiden name. Trust me Archie Skelton never mentioned his siblings.So I had no idea how big his family was. Little did I know that a lot of his secrets would come out into the open when I was about 12 years old. I now wish I had kept a diary. That would be such a Hugh help to me now.

We were living in Orangeburg,S.C. It was the nicest place we had ever lived in.I remember that I liked living there. One day the Social Security Department sent Archie a letter.My mother opened the letter. To her surprise Archie had been married twice before her. My mother was not his second wife but his third wife.Talk about shit hitting the fan.Archie had to explain why his son was trying to locate him.A son she had no idea existed. We even found out that the fist set of children were in contact with his family. That Archie was from AL. not GA. like he had always hinted at.

So when I was 12 I found out that I had Aunts, Uncles, a living Grandfather and more than 3 half siblings. That he had been lying about his age. Archie was older than what he had been admitting to.What a shock. No I did not learn a whole lot about the Skelton family right away. That would still take many years. Archie still refused to have anything to do with his family or maybe his siblings were not ready to have anything to do with him.Somethings just seem to say hidden for what seems like forever. I did meet one of my new found half brothers along with his family that year, it was strange in a lot of ways.No one likes having bomb shells landing in their laps. Children are no exception to the rule. Very sad to say that I never got to meet my Grandfather Skelton.

It is very late so I will stop for now.

A Little Curious

Growing up it was no big secret that my father Archie Skelton (b.27aug1901 AL. d. 8jul1989 S.C.) did not want to have anything to do with his family. Honestly I do not remember ever asking him about his parents or siblings. Growing up I had no idea how many brothers or sisters Archie had. Was not 100% sure where he had been born. I do remember from time to time my mother (Gladys Skelton) would try to get some information about Archie's family from him. They always talked where they thought non of us kids could over hear them. Trust me we did not bother them unless it was necessary. Things were a lot different when I was a kid verses today. Even as strict as it was I still managed to over hear some things. Now the challenge is to remember all of it. Trying to remember stuff, tracking down people. I guess I have done pretty good to have gathered as much information that I have today.

I do remember one time when Billy Graham the T.V. evangelist was on and Archie made the comment that his Father (William Ellis Skelton b.5dec1878 AL. d. 9dec1980 TX.) knew Billy Graham. I remember me and my siblings had to sit on the sofa and keep quite. We were not allowed to say a word or get off the sofa. Not until after the program had ended. Archie did not make that statement in a kind way. He also said that both of them were liars and cheats. That did not seem to matter because he watched the whole show. I never did understand why he watched any of the Billy Graham specials. There was never a doubt that Archie did not like him at all. I guess it goes to show that we do not always act the same way we talk.

It is funny some of the things that stick in your mind, from child hood to adult hood. I have no idea why I remember that small time in my child hood. I can only guess it had something to do with why I wanted to learn about that side of the family. That I wanted to know for myself what kind of people they were. Were they liars and cheats? Were they cruel, mean people that I would never in a million years want to have anything to do with? The only way to know for sure was to try to learn as much as I could about them. To judge for myself what was true, what was false.

I guess I never really understood why Archie Skelton was the black sheep of his family. I do not remember right now all the different reasons that was given for Archie's refusal to have anything to do with his family. I do know that many reasons were given. That none of them made enough sense to me as to why. Maybe that is part of it too many reasons were given.

Have you ever been asked Why on earth are you digging up the past? I was told one time to let sleeping dogs lie. In case your not familiar with that old saying it means leave it alone. Now do not get me wrong I did leave it alone for years. I was busy with my own life s challenges. I had my own family to worry about. Plus there was no internet. LOL The internet has made it so much easier. Plus I have noticed an increasing interest in genealogy. Seems like more and more people want to know where they came from. What kind of family do I have? We must not forget What dark secrets will we find?

Well I am getting sleepy. So I will say good night.

Family History / Research I must be outa my mind :(

I never pictured myself doing a blog. So here goes nothing. Be kind I will get better as time goes by. This is a little awkward but I guess it will get easier sooner or later. Hopefully sooner.
We all at one time or another wonder about our Family history. What dark secrets are there to find. Kinda like being a explorer. Your just tracking down relatives that you never knew existed. Face it we all want to have that one great adventure in our lives.I started out all excited and gun ho. Then I hit my brick wall. Darn it there are relatives hiding from me me, sweet lovable me. How dare them. Well all I could do was roll up my sleeves and keep on digging. I was NOT going to let that relative hide forever. Yes I am stubborn. But that can be a good thing. You have to be stubborn when you are looking into the past. Real stubborn.
I am in great hopes of meeting not just relatives, but others who share my hobby/ obession, Yes it does become an obession. Another section of my adventure begins. I will tell you about some of my triumphs and my failures.But for now since I am a little unsure of myself I will let this be enough for now.